life as I know

Summer Fun Globetrotter Style

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Thu, 17 May 2012 09:30:00 +0000

When I was a girl the highlight of the year was seeing the Harlem Globetrotters when they came to town. It was so much fun watching the players do all the tricks. The score was never important, well it wasn't the main focus. The exhibition was always a great time with family, and it was enjoyed by both parents and kids alike.

For the first time, the Harlem Globetrotters are conducting summer skills clinics to bring boys and girls ages 6-14 behind the curtain to see the Globetrotters’ electrifying skills and tricks, while also having fun staying active.

Each participant receives:

A free ticket voucher (valued up to $40) to see the Globetrotters during their 2013 World Tour
Autographs and photos with the stars!
3-day trial pass to 24 Hour Fitness

Clinic Locations:(These are just the clinics - the games for your tickets are in 200 cities)

Phoenix Houston San Francisco New Jersey

Denver Dallas Los Angeles Seattle

St Louis Miami Las Vegas

Save $10 on registration! Enter the Coupon Code USFAMILY on the cart page after completing your registration or mention when calling 1-800-641-HOOP (4667) Click Here: http://www.harlemglobetrotters.com/basketball-skills-clinics /summer-2012

Putting My Best Face Forward

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 09:00:00 +0000

These past few months, have been challenging, but I am coming out of them well and actually very refreshed. My story is still being written, and many changes are being made. One of the biggest being me taking more care with my appearance. Don't get me wrong I wasn't TOO OFTEN running around looking like "Whodunnit" and "What For", but I wasn't putting on a face either. In essence I wasn't putting my best face forward, and that is not good for business or personal matters.

Much has changed in this period of time though. Each day my hair is done, done (really put together) - even my ponytails and sloppy buns look good, because I've always got my "5-minute face" on. It may sound silly, but its actually a very good tool for life. Over the past few months I've added a few people to my entourage; Selena my hair stylist, Myself as wardrober (I wasn't bad, I just needed a clear vision), and a Skin Care Consultant Bernice Wood.

Bernice is my Mary Kay Consultant and my friend. And just so you know I just met her last week but she is a kindred spirit. First of all she has the patience of Job, I gave her so many "I can't do this", and "I can't do that", but did she say "I can't work with you", no sir. She brought over her kit and to my very pleasant my surprise we found something that works with my newly sensitive skin. It's Mary Kay's new Botanical Effects line, which I love. This line is great for sensitive skin, and it has options just like the other Mary Kay lines, for dry, oily or combination skin. It leaves my skin feeling fresh and light and not dried out, and I'm talking before I even moisturize.

Being a newly minted Skincare Consultant Bernice's friend Jil came along to help train her. Jil is hilarious. These two ladies brought a party and then SOME to my home on a Wednesday afternoon. Not only did they show me a product that gently cleanses and moisturizes my skin, but they also gave me pointers on taking that "5-minute face" and kicking it up a notch with just 5 more minutes. Seriously, ready to go out face in 10 minutes; who would have ever thought it possible? Not me surely. My immediate thought after my facial were "My skin is luminous, glowing, gorgeous!" I get to have that feeling everyday, and I get to hold the fun memories of that day in my mind.

In addition I got to see a wonderful opportunity at work. Being an entrepreneur myself I can respect the persistence and consistence it takes to be in independent business owner, and that is exactly what Mary Kay is. It's an excellent vehicle (pun intended) for people to earn a little extra income, or build a business to support a family. As a personal beauty consultant, Bernice is available to work with you in the comfort of your home. Just as with me, this gives you the opportunity to find out all your options and to try before you buy. To set up your own consultation, email her at bernicemwood @ gmail.com or visit her website at marykay.com/bernicewood.

Disclosure: Bernice offered me the Botanicals line gratis so that I might be able to accurately review the product. There was no money exchange and as always, my opinions are 100% my own.

He's Writing My Testimony

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 12:29:00 +0000

Thank you all for reading "life as I know" I really appreciate you stopping by and commenting. "Lifers" know I can be very sporadic with my posting and occasionally there are long gaps between posts. There is of course a good reason for it, but one I am not ready to share.

I have been confronted with some truths as of late, I knew they were coming, but none the less they have me in a place where I must make a decision. In order to make the best decision possible I need to suspend a few preoccupations.

When I return my hope is that my story will be so great that it sheds light where you need it and helps heal.
I must go to work now, I must be still and I must listen so I will know the way to go.

Until Next Time,
Be Blessed

Role Models

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 04:28:00 +0000

I LOVE my work. I feel truly fortunate that I get to do what I enjoy and people pay me for it. Honestly what's not to like? I get paid to share knowledge, spread joy and encourage peace, calm and community. Teaching needle arts is therapeutic, relaxing, and social (that's what both the student and I get from it).

Just a short while ago I was told that I couldn't "just sit around knitting all day". Well not to jinx it, but apparently I can. Some people's words should be taken with a grain of salt, and we all know we need less sodium in our diets, so why not just ditch the negative altogether. Role models are those we look up to as inspiration for our own future successes.

When I was in college and having a rough time, I would say "If I don't graduate, I'm going to be the black Martha Stewart". Well I did graduate, but that's not the reason I didn't become the next Martha. As we all know I had a great window while she was in the clink, but it occurred to me that wasn't really what I wanted to do. And heck, I'm not nearly as organized as Martha. I realized what I liked about Martha was that she was her own boss. She was an entrepreneur.

Don't get me wrong, I'm surrounded by business-minded people, I mean as far back as I can remember my father has had his own business. And historically African American business owners were the pillars of their communities having boutiques and restaurants, floral shops and funeral homes and everything in between. Somewhere along the way though a generation was lost and the people they look up to are not their parents or even their ancestors, but people from their own generation who have skills they probably won't ever possess.

Instead of doing what you think will get you "crazy paid" how about finding out what you really like and figuring out a way to make it pay you. Madam C.J. Walker's thinning hair paid her several times over, making her the first African American millionaire. Mary McLeod Bethune wouldn't let the fact that there was no school for girls deter her...she started her own, now look at the legacy she left. Use your creativity, your imagination, your divinely given gifts to get what you want. Find proper role models to emulate.

I still love Martha, but my new role model is Madam C.J. Walker, and that's because my girls need to see successful people that look like them, so they know its possible (and seriously the woman made a fortune off of a basic thing). Their role models need not be models, and rappers or even actors. They need to be the ancestors that were first and the pioneers of today that keep blazing trails of innovation and creativity in business, politics, art and the humanities. Their role models are myself and their father, my father, their grandmothers, our aunts and uncles. We have to be role models so they will have a model of success to follow. Wo/Man up!

Until Next Time,
Be Blessed

It's Black History Month...

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 04:15:00 +0000

My middle daughter reading a plaque at Martin Luther King Jr. Center for Nonviolent Social Change

And in case you didn't know, I'm black. (Well technically I'm brown...well that is figuratively anyways. Try explaining color to a preschooler...but then why should I have to?) Back to the main thought, since I'm black I shall revel in all the glory that is heaped upon my children for the next 20 days. Well not really since my children happen to attend a predominately African-American school they get more of a well rounded education than many others. Their projects throughout the year have a more statistically accurate representation of the different races of people that make up this country. Additionally I don't leave the complete education of my children to the school system. If I did they might think playing "slave and slave catcher" at recess was cool. That being said, there is a reason that we have Black History Month.

It is a sad reality that color is still an issue in this country. I'm sorry let me be more specific, race is still an issue in this country.

"

race

² [reys] Show IPA

noun

a group of persons related by common descent or heredity.

a population so related.

Anthropology .

any of the traditional divisions of humankind, thecommonest being the caucasian, Mongoloid, andNegro, characterized by supposedly distinctive anduniversal physical characteristics: no longer intechnical use.

an arbitrary classification of modern humans,sometimes, especially formerly, based on any or acombination of various physical characteristics, as skincolor, facial form, or eye shape, and now frequentlybased on such genetic markers as blood groups.

a human population partially isolated reproductivelyfrom other populations, whose members share agreater degree of physical and genetic similarity withone another than with other humans.

a group of tribes or peoples forming an ethnic stock: theSlavic race.

any people united by common history, language, culturaltraits, etc.: the Dutch race."

Since race is still an issue in this country we have "Black History Month". Without it I honestly don't believe students would receive any type of education with regards to the contributions of African-Americans to the development of the United States. Until the narratives of people of color (Latinos, Asians, Natives) are included in the lesson plans and national standards of learning for future generations; there will exist a need to inject students with a month here and a month there of focused knowledge about said groups.

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a household where 1.) my parents were college educated 2.) they were readers and 3.) they were proud of their ancestry. I grew up reading "Black Americans of Achievement" books; (I've started giving them to my girls to read now). Because my mother worked in library when I was younger, I was afforded a seemingly limitless knowledge base. Of course we had encyclopedias but they were limited and I wanted to know more, so I read. My parents of course encouraged this and I read about Fannie Lou Hamer, and Matthew Henson, Ida B. Wells, and Mary McLeod Bethune as well as Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X and countless others. Even if my parents weren't college graduates I'd still have grown up knowledgable because they did, and only one of my grandparents was a college graduate. My ancestors were dedicated to the education of the future, and I will be the same.

In high school I had the opportunity in my AP English class to do a self-directed learning and I chose to focus on the writings of African American authors - otherwise I wouldn't have been introduced to Zora Neale Hurston, or Langston Hughes in a school setting until college. (I wish I could find that paper now). I enjoyed that class immensely because it let me step away from the status quo and allowed me the opportunity to explore in depth how narratives vary across ethnic lines. Now don't get it twisted, I also read "Ethan Frome" that year, and Sylvia Plath, however had I not been in an AP class the odds of me having the chance to read the works of African-Americans would have been drastically reduced.

My education was further enhanced when I went to college, and majored in Afro-American and African studies. I was truly fortunate to be able to pay to learn about my history (there's only a hint of sarcasm there). Honestly we are all severely lacking in education on the history of our country...and if the Tea Party has anything to do with it, we'll be even worse off.

During this very auspicious month you'll get a little more of ME! I do not believe we live in post-racial America (sorry Mr. President). Unfortunately there are places I still wouldn't venture to after dark (places not far from where I live). There are things I know are racially motivated in this country (with regard to politics) and I know there is a long way for this country to go if it is ever to be what the founders desired (cough, cough). As the month goes on, you'll see more of me. I hope you are not offended, but this is "life as i know".

Until Next Time,

Be Blessed

Could I Have A Minute of Your Time Please?

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 14:26:00 +0000

Thanks for stopping by. If you've got a second I would really appreciate if you could take this little survey I've put together. It is about knitting retreats. It will not take much time, it's not even 10 questions, so you'll be done with it lickety split :)

Click here to take survey

Thank you SOOOOO much!!

Until Next Time,
Be Blessed

When the Ground Gives Way and Your World Collapses

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:09:00 +0000

I was watching Grey's Anatomy one night and that's what Meredith was saying in her monologue. It was in reference to life in general, and marriage specifically. I felt it was a very appropriate metaphor. Most of the time your marriage is great, but occasionally there are those times when it feels like the earth is crumbling beneath your feet. What are you to do in these situations?

As many of you know I'm still pretty blissed out from my anniversary trip a few weeks ago. That being said I am not so wrapped up in my own joy that I can't see the marriages struggling around me. And trust me, I am in a fight for those marriages as if they were my own. I may only be a prayer warrior on the sideline in one case, and nagging little sister in the other, but I am there (no not literally), but if need be I will go to the mat with them, and for them. Check out my goals -->one of the top ones is to help keep marriages together. I kid you not, that is important to me, and I'm not the only one. Dee-Dee (part of the anniversary crew and founder of "I'm Every Woman") is hosting the annual marriage event and the focus this year is on couples who have overcome obstacles to stay together.

I want you to stay together because I don't believe in "irreconcilable differences". The term is actually loathsome to me. It is giving up plain and simple, you're tired of working, and that is the lazy persons way out. Nor do I care for the "I fell out of love with them" excuse. Say what?! That is malarky. What you fell out of was the habit of treating your partner special, pursuing them, aggressively going after what you desired. (We'll go into how to keep in fresh in future posts). Maybe you drank the "marriage is easy kool-aid" then found out it was a lie; too bad you made a commitment. Now if you've been a "Lifer" for a while you know the Hayes family motto -"Ain't nobody leaving nobody", and the exceptions to it, abuse, however outside those parameters, suck it up.

I was reading I Am Husband.com and I as I read I was in total agreement. (Confession time) I don't remember saying my vows, I don't know WHAT I said (the minister was late and I was seeing "red rum") but obviously I'm married as the witnesses can attest to. What I do know is that I meant to stay with my husband (not that we haven't had trying times), vows are a binding contract with your spouse; and when they (contracts) are breached mediation is usually par for the course, not out and out dissolution. Society must learn to again put value in a person's word being their bond. We must again hold our vows as a sincere promise that we are doggedly determined to keep, and not let divorce be an option we have sitting on the side.

So what do you do "When the Ground Gives Way and Your World Collapses"? Let's say there's infidelity, physical illness, trouble with the in-laws, fertility issues, mental illness, you get the idea....what do you do? First I would suggest you take a step back, breathe deeply and go to your separate corners. Space is good, I am still learning this. People need to process and every one of us does it in our own special way. So give each other some time to take in what is happening. Then I would suggest open, honest communication (preferably with a counselor of some sort). And most importantly take your time, no matter what you do, don't rush into making any decisions.

Couples can surmount any number of obstacles in their marriages, however a key factor in whether or not they succeed is how much they are willing to communicate with one another. We talk even when it hurts. I thank God everyday for my husband because he knows what he got himself into; eyes wide open he married me. I am also thankful for the good sense to walk to my corner sometimes and sit quietly until I can figure it out. We are imperfect beings in an imperfect world, but we are wholly committed to one another. I pray we can change the tide of marriages and there will be more life-long unions that our children can reference as they are preparing for their own unions. They will know it is not all sunshine and roses, but they will know to appreciate the rainbow after the storm.

Until Next Time,
Be Blessed

Forgive Yourself

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 16:07:00 +0000

Two thousand eleven was one heck of a year!! And I don't mean in a good way. My world was rocked in more ways than I ever care to experience again, and I'm still feeling aftershocks. Doubt, self-blame, anxiety, shame, anger, and a whole host of other emotions that I won't bother to list. All of that has brought me into two thousand twelve with some serious baggage I didn't realize I was carrying.

I'm a firm believer of confronting the emotions that are holding you back (in your own time - I really dislike confrontation), however there are occasions where you are just going about life (on auto-pilot) and don't recognize the fact that you aren't going anywhere. That's how I've been the past 6 months or so, and I just realized it last night (well maybe last week, but last night was the straw).

When I am stressed I have a tendency to eat; I become the Human Garbage Disposal. I eat late at night, what my kids don't finish on their plates, cookies, cake, ice cream, whatever is handy. It's a wonder I haven't gained more weight, but I'll just be thankful that I haven't.

Guilt. Yeah that's another one.

I digress, I've been eating like a cow (grazing) and occasionally guzzling, like last night. I can't even tell you what I did it was horrifying to myself. Suffice it to say I saw the light finally and know why I'm "killing myself" this way. Yeah I went there, because that is exactly what I'm doing. I don't workout...once every two months does not count, and I definitely could cook a little healthier. I'm carrying around the middle and that is dangerous, especially with my family history.

Absolution...I desire it, but not from the living, and the dead have nothing to give.

When one of my dad's died in June I felt bad, not that he was gone, we knew it was coming, and with a little advance notice I handle death pretty well. Why then was I so upset? Because I wish I had been a better daughter. My dad was sick, but I was angry with him (because he wasn't taking care of himself ironically) and I wouldn't talk to him. Thought about him all the time, but didn't go to great lengths to see or talk to him until he could no longer talk back. I went and sat with him at the hospital when he was in a coma and told him that I loved him, and I was sorry that my girls hadn't known him. I hoped he would get better, but the prognosis was never good, and I'm a realist when I have to be.

In November when one of my sister's passed I was devastated...utterly and completely. My husband, (thank God for him), carried me home and took care of me because I was unable to do so myself. She was 30 years old and I hardly knew her, which could be said for most of my siblings.

Split in two, I lay in pieces, the person I wanted to be, and who I really am. My husband carried me home and slowly, I began to heal. The scar is invisible because the wound is emotional. It exists nonetheless, a reminder of what I no longer desire to be. Incomplete, less than, detached...an island.

I don't make resolutions, people rarely stick to those. I made a goal to be a better "daughter-wife-mom-sister ... friend". I don't want to cry again because of all the things I didn't take time to do. From here on out my tears will be due to the memories that I shared with the ones I've lost, not the regrets I have for not making more time for them.

To move forward though, I must forgive myself - the dead give no absolution; and make amends with the living. I absolutely must make these changes or I will eat myself into an early grave, and I just told my husband I wanted to spend the next 50 years with him, and I would love to see grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren. That won't be possible if I don't take care of myself, and my emotional and mental health play a role in my overall longevity so I've got to get it together.

Forgive yourself. We are not perfect beings, but if we work earnestly, diligently and sincerely toward a goal, we can achieve it. Including seeking peace within.

Until Next Time,
Shanta

So This is What "Post-Racial" America Looks Like...

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 15:46:00 +0000

In Georgia anyway.

This was the homework given to several third graders in Gwinnett County, GA. Yes, 8 year olds received this as an assignment last Wednesday (January 4, 2012). Welcome to the real world kiddos. There were also questions like "If Frederick received two beatings per day, how many did he get in one week? Two weeks?" Seriously?! And the teachers claimed to have been using it as a cross-curricular exercise. FAIL!!!

What's so "post-racial" about this?

Until Next Time,

Be Blessed

We Had A Ball...Literally!!!

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 23:39:00 +0000

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

I hope you all had a restful and relaxing holiday season, I certainly did. The beginning of winter and the holidays that accompany it always excite me for various reasons. My family is always together at this time, and my anniversary (New Year's Eve) is always cause for celebration. This past December 31, I celebrated 9 years of matrimony with my dear friend, and husband Mr. Hayes.

Surprises and I have a "Love/Hate" relationship, as in; I love surprises, but I hate waiting for them. Yes, yes I'm a grown woman, but I hold onto some of my childish ways. However I digress. Let me tell you what a wonderful husband I have. Not only did he plan a romantic weekend away for US, but he also coordinated it with two other couples whom we are friends with that have anniversaries the day before and after ours. Say what?! Yes, we have an #AnniversaryCrew.

These wonderful husbands of ours ~~plotted~~ planned a delightfully restful, and romantic weekend for us at the lovely Chateau Elan. (If you haven't been make plans to go). After I tell you about our weekend you'll want to head there straight away. First of all these men worked it, they arranged for all of our rooms to be together and for us ladies to have our spa services simultaneously, so that we could maximize our time together (don't get me wrong there was plenty of couple time), but we enjoyed each others company as well and celebrating our marriages.

We all arrived at the Inn on Thursday evening, the ladies having no clue where we were going, but having been given a short packing list, (evening wear, bathing suits, athletic wear, cute going out clothes, etc..) that could have been for honestly ANYWHERE. EverythingManHB said we (Dee-Dee and I) almost gave it away chattering on Facebook...no way! WE were totally blown away when we all arrived and saw each other, and the grins were PRICELESS :D There's nothing like spending time with people who value their relationships as much as you do. But the surprises don't end there. Over dinner they kept hinting at more..yes MORE.

Wine Cellar

Friday the gentleman had some golf instruction while we enjoyed massages and scrubs at the Spa (you have to go...really you should treat yourself to this experience at least once). After we came back from tea at the spa we dressed to go to, drumroll please... The Charlie Wilson and Kem concert, yeah ~~baby~~ l~~ove making~~ music at its best. We had a fantastic time, then to cap the night we went to our favorite late night spot and had a late supper and dessert (some had two desserts ;).

Ballroom

Breakfast caught us rolling in late (but that was a daily thing - I let Mr. Hayes sleep-in whenever he can). There was a wine tour on tap for the afternoon, but this was really just a leisurely day, because when the evening rolled around....there was The BALL! Yes, an honest to goodness masquerade ball. I told you we had a ball. Talk about some Cinderellas...take three Stay at Home Moms, and their prince charmings, ball included and you have a fairy tale. No, not at all this is our life, this is us being honored by the men who promised to do so. This is us celebrating our marriages, vowing to keep our families strong and together, and sharing in the promise that "Your Marriage is Important to Me".

Now don't think that I forgot Mr. Hayes. My gift just wasn't as big. I tend to go with traditional gifts and I was very happy with the one I found this year. For the ninth anniversary willow wood items are customary. Do you know what a willow tree looks like? Its the one with the long flowing branches (they honestly look like strands hanging off the tree), they blow in the wind; even with a gentle breeze. When I think of a Willow trees I imagine a strong trunk and deep roots with branches that just go with the ebb and flow, standards of a good marriage. "The roots are remarkable for their toughness, size, and tenacity to life..." A great marker for any relationship I'd say.

Once early in our marriage we had a scuff about something and a friend asked me "Does he still make your heart smile?" The answer--Yes, yes he did, and he still does. That has been my measuring stick for many a thing. But as I perused shops looking for the thing, I came across this...

from Appalachian Primitive on Etsy. That scripture pretty much sums it up. Accompanied with the family motto, and the smile question, it is all the affirmation of our marriage I need.

Needless to say, my gift was loved equally and will be with us for many, many decades to come, at least 5 more.

Marriage is absolutely important to me, and I'm making the sustaining of it a major part of platform this year. Expect to see more on love and marriage and how to keep it strong and together.

I'll post more pics soon.

Until Next Time,
Be Blessed

Know YOUR Truth

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 15:36:00 +0000

Sometimes it seems I can't win for losing, but that's the way it goes, however in some instances it's not really "losing" if you're comfortable with who you are.

I will no longer speak in riddles. Here it is. I have heard that I can "appear" unapproachable, as in I generally wear a scowl. This may very well be true, it is not because I am unfriendly though, it merely seems that way because I am constantly in a state of deep thought, or concentration trying to keep myself together. I can not change my face from unpleasant to cheery in a nanosecond like my middle child, (she's a master at it). It is also not easy for me to feign comfort when I obviously am not; it's like having trapped gas, it really hurts but you don't want anyone to know what's bothering you.

It occurred to me that while I am not unhappy, I could be more cheery, i.e. "not let the little things get under my skin so much" for these are the things that bring about the scowl. For example I shouldn't let the fact that my children rarely put their clothes away where they belong, or that they constantly stuff clean clothes in the hamper because they don't want to put them away in the proper place bother me. Neither should I be disgruntled by the fact that the children are having nosebleeds EVERYDAY because they turn the space heater up to the MAX at night, (all the while I'm trying to figure out where the humidifier is and why its so dry in the room to begin with). Nor should any concern be given to keeping a schedule, because its just bound to go sideways; so the calendar can just take a leap because finishing what's on today's list is NOT HAPPENING! Nope I shouldn't let ANY of these things bother me. But they do, and though I could see the benefits of changing my outward appearance to gain the friendship and admiration and love of more others, I am perfectly content with the friendships and love I have in my life right now.

Here is my truth. I don't feel I should have to put on a face to impress people. I am (for once in my life) happy with who I am. I am a kind, friendly, outgoing person and if you give me more than a cursory once-over you'll figure that out for yourself. People, just like books and food deserve to be given a try no matter what their appearance. You know the expressions "Don't judge a book by its cover" and one of my favorite food adages from Yo Gabba Gabba! "Try it, you'll like it!". Grown-ups should take this advice too. However, if you don't want to, Rhett Butler can sum it up for me. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn".

Until Next Time,

Be Blessed

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 18:14:00 +0000

It's a new attitude...I'm looking UP!!

Liking what I see...When I look at ME!!

It's the holiday season and tis better to give than receive right? Well I've got a gift for my daughters. A mother that likes herself, the way she looks, but that is also committed to taking care of herself. When you think you're pretty who gives a fig what other people think. Love yourself ladies.

My Biological Clock is Ticking

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 13:05:00 +0000

I'm not sure why this is happening since I have 3 children already, but it definitely is. The little Timex inside me has been going off at regular intervals for about the past year, and contrary to what my mind is thinking my uterus is LOUDER. I've had this topic in my queue for awhile, I'm writing about it today however because my body wouldn't let me rest until it was done (a subconscious message of sorts perhaps).

Every few months for the past year or so, I've had this strong urge to procreate, like a deep, deep desire in my uterus, (most would say "the pit of my stomach" or "my gut" -but that is not where babies come from), to have life inside me. Yet every time this little alarm would go off, my head would chime in "but now isn't a good time". I always tell people my body might be saying "yes", but I can talk myself out of having a baby in just a few seconds..."we need a bigger house, the girls are too old, I'm getting older, hubby's in school...." No need to go on you get the gist.

My situation has not been aided by my friends or family. I just came off a relaxing holiday where I got to hold my beautiful new little cousin. My sister and our cousin, both delivered healthy, precious little girls, one day apart, two months ago. Ahh...I could sit and look at those children all day, such good babies they are (they really are). I held KA and it felt like there was nothing else in the world; a nice feeling considering how my holiday started. Then let's figure, at least 3 of my girlfriends are pregnant. And I believe Addison "is in a family way" (yes a fictional character on a television show made my list).

Last night, when my body made its plea, I realized my mind is in compliance. None of the usual "justifications" for tabling the discussion came up, as a matter of fact, I talked myself into it: Yes, our daughters are 10, 8, and 5, and they have great spacing. This new addition would be 7 years younger than my youngest, but the girls will be older and more mature. We live comfortably in our home, one more wouldn't put us out, plus I grew up with my extended family living in one house, we were cozy but also close; (I love that about my family). I'm only 33, so I haven't reached my cutoff (35) just yet. Hubby will only be in school for 6 more months. These counter-arguments have always been there, been available to me, but I never wanted to use them.

Now though, I have the feeling that all my fence sitting has put my husband on the "it's not the right time" train. The ~~obstacle,~~ ~~challenge~~, matter at hand now is letting my husband know the desires of my heart. See I have to plan it just so. My fear now is that we won't be on the same page...I waited too long and now..."you snooze, you lose".

Until next time,
Be Blessed

The Silence is Most Disheartening

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 05:18:00 +0000

Unless you live under a rock or in a cave, I'm sure you've heard the news from Happy Valley (ironic isn't it?). Though I'll not go into the details of it, if you haven't read the Grand Jury Report here is the link.

Over the past week, I was sickened from reading the allegations, but I had to do it, to educate myself, so I could better educate my children. Yes, I've talked to them about "good touch, bad touch", although I tell my girls no one should be touching them, outside a handshake and possibly a hug. Now they know how to play with kids, but no one's hands should be all over you, and nowhere near your private parts. However now, I've had to be VERY SPECIFIC about who "No one" is. In our house its nobody that isn't Mommy, Daddy (in emergencies) or Dr. D (and that's only with Mommy present).

More importantly I've found it is most important to arm them with a voice of reason, ME, letting them know they can tell us anything, even if "someone" tells them 'they won't believe you'.... THAT IS A LIE!! Tell me. Don't believe whatever "they" are trying to feed you, and if reason fails KRS..'kick, run, scream".

After I had these talks with my children I had to figure out why I was still so angry and hurt and sick. We hear about children being abused all the time, it is in the news and on television shows, we are inundated constantly with despairing news regarding the treatment of children. Essentially how children are being FAILED in this country. Not to say we are desensitized by it, but it is all to common.

I was sickened because people did NOTHING!!! People saw these ~~alleged~~ actions occurring and did NOTHING!!! You followed protocol and told your superior, (after discussing it with your father), but you DIDN'T STOP IT!! I am angry because a child was being hurt and people turned their backs, literally and figuratively. And in turning your back, you opened the door for MORE CHILDREN to be hurt.

My heart cried out, "WHY?" and I realized, people are afraid, and that is sad. Afraid to go against the hierarchy, afraid to jeopardize your chances at success and so you let a child suffer so that you would not be put out. This is absolutely shameful. As human beings we have to be better than a pack of baboons that would beat their young against the rocks.

Even still I was aching inside. "Why", you ask? Because I was afraid that I too would be AFRAID. Not afraid that I wouldn't act, but scared that I might be hurt. That is when I prayed. "Lord help us ALL be courageous, let ME not be afraid to do the right thing and stand up for all the children". I can not control anyone else's actions, but God can order my steps, I just have to listen and remember; "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

We cannot let fear rule us, we must be COURAGEOUS!!

Until Next Time,
Be Blessed

Win a Family Four Pack of Tickets to "Arthur Christmas"

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 19:22:00 +0000

So you've read that I was such a good girl that Santa left me a few gifts to share....Well guess what, I've got a few more!!!!

Sony Pictures and Aardman are releasing "Arthur Christmas" on November 23rd, but friends of "Life As I Know" in the Atlanta area can win passes to see it on November 19th. I've got 5 family four packs of tickets for my readers, and I can't wait to give them away.

That's right on Day 8 of the "12 Days of Arthur Christmas" you and yours can attend an advance screening of "Arthur Christmas" at Regal Mall of Georgia at 11:00AM.

You want those tickets right?

Well all you have to do is:

Until Next Time,

Be Blessed

Win an Appointment with the Phipps Plaza Santa!!!

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 05:30:00 +0000

Santa Claus is coming and he's bringing Arthur with him....

Sony Pictures Animation and Aardman’s ARTHUR CHRISTMAS is the new family animated comedy hitting theaters on November 23^rd. And since I was such a good girl this year, I've got gifts for all of you!!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! Bringing the spirit of the season early to Atlantans, Aardman and Sony Pictures Animation are hosting the "12 Days of Arthur Christmas" events throughout metro-Atlanta and I'm going to help them spread the love. It all starts with a Snow Celebration at Centennial Olympic Park on November 12th and ending with a Jingle Bell Rock Party at Atlantic Station on November 23rd. Guests will be ever filled with holiday cheer as they partake in the multitude of happenings around the city. An Army of Elves, meet and greet with Santa's reindeer, holiday lights at Lake Lanier and testing the ice at the igloo village at the Georgia Aquarium are just a few.

Ever wonder how Santa delivers 2 billion presents in one night? “Arthur Christmas” answers the question… The answer: Santa's exhilarating, ultra-high-tech operation hidden beneath the North Pole.

When this amazing operation misses one child out of hundreds of millions, Arthur, the least capable Claus, embarks on a hilarious, exciting rogue mission against the clock with his politically incorrect grandfather Grandsanta and a giftwrapping-obsessed elf named Bryony, to deliver the last present before Christmas morning dawns.

But before the film’s opening we're going to celebrate the 12 Days of ARTHUR CHRISTMAS in Atlanta! It's a whole host of activities to get the family out in the mood for Christmas, so Let's start with some SNOW!!!

Day 1, Saturday, November 12, 2011

Arthur Christmas is Coming to Town

Centennial Olympic Park

11:00AM-3:00PM

Join Arthur’s Army of Elves as they kick off the 12 Days of ARTHUR CHRISTMAS with fresh snow for free tubing, posing and playing in front of the Fountain of Rings. All who attend the free event can enter to win an appointment with the Phipps Plaza Santa. Open to the public.

"How do you get the appointment with Santa?" you ask...

Well be at Centennial Olympic park Saturday morning at 11:00AM and be the first person to tweet me www.twitter.com/slhayesdesigns, or check-in with me on Facebook. The earliest timestamp I see gets the appointment with the Phipps Santa!!!

Check www.12DaysOfArthurChristmas.com for a complete list and details of all the "12 Days of Arthur Christmas" activities.

Until Next Time,

Be Blessed

"I Am Not My Hair", but She Might Be

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 14:23:00 +0000

I have been rocking my hair in a natural state for fifteen years. And I love it!!! I have shown you all pictures of me and my styles over the years, and its versatile and I love that freedom. That being said, the way I wear my hair is not for everyone.

The space I'm in now though is keeping that path with my girls. Each of them has their own texture different from mine and each other. My oldest has a fine texture, soft with a gentle, loose curl pattern. My youngest has soft, tight curls (makes for great puffs ;). Little Buddy has soft hair as well, but it sucks up oil, so her scalp is constantly dry, it is the kinkiest of us all, and she is tender-headed. These different textures have made it easier to style some heads than others. That being said, I have found myself in a bit of hot water regarding my middle childs' appearance.

Now mind you, hair is not the only issue I've been having with this child. She seemed to have a serious anxiety issue the past few weeks, but we thought it was attributed to all the testing they had been doing at school. However last weekend my baby girl told my father she didn't like the way she looked. (And truthfully it was time for her hair to be done). Just so you know my kid doesn't walk around looking like "Whodunnit" and "Whatfor" everyday.

At 8 I want my kid to just have fun and not be concerned with how she is looking, but then again, that's how I roll. "I am not my hair", so judge me on my character and my abilities, not how I look. Now this is not to say roll out the house in your pajamas with your head wrap on and go to the store; I just don't want you to tie-up your esteem with your appearance. Don't get me wrong, take care to show your best face, but let it be the face of your choosing. And maybe that was part of the problem, she had no choice.

So the meat of it is this: our Little Buddy was not feeling good about herself, and it had not even occurred to me that her hair was an issue. She is not me, so being kinky curly might not be for her. That being said, I was on the verge of texturizing my daughter's hair (again) to make it easier for me to style her, and make her pretty the way she wanted; BUT I did NOT!

I am a firm believer that one can have healthy, natural hair, that can be styled a myriad of ways, but maybe you should leave the styling to someone else. So that is what I have done. I am now outsourcing the haircare of my middle child to Selena Bell. She did a great job, and not one tear was shed..(oh yeah, there were tears and all kinds of drama when I did it). So as a sanity saver I have passed the buck, literally and figuratively to Selena to save my family. And yes, it really was that deep, if something wasn't done about Little Buddy's hair my family would have been in jeopardy.

My daughters hair is now done to her liking without all the ~~whining and~~, well without the usual fanfare. I realize that while I am not my hair, my eight year old may hold a very different opinion. And I'm okay with that, I just hope she grows up to love herself no matter what her hair is like.

Until Next Time,
Be Blessed.

"Celebrating For A Cause"

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 04:00:00 +0000

Do you know what it's like to have great friends that don't just think of themselves, or that don't think anything of helping you, or anyone else in need for that matter? Well I do. I have been blessed to meet and make friends with some pretty outstanding women, who do really great things, and my friend Dee-Dee Jackson is no exception.

Dee-Dee and her organization I'm Every Woman! are kicking off this fabulous season of love and giving by "Celebrating For A Cause".

"I'm Every Woman! Inc. is committed to doing all we can to end domestic violence, hunger in our elderly population, close the gap for families in need, and mentor our youth that need a second chance at success. Our first charity benefit on 11/19/11 will open the door for us to begin making a difference. We are asking our supporters and the community to join forces with us so we are united in our efforts. Together we can do more! We need your support!" - Dee-Dee Jackson, Founder and President

Don't you just love a good party? I certainly do, and my friend has never disappointed in putting together a great event. This one is sure to leave you with a warm tingly feeling because while you're having such an awesome time (with new and old friends alike), you'll also be contributing to some really great causes.

Take a moment to pop over to the site and see what they're all about. Make a contribution of support for the organization (it's a non-profit) or purchase your tickets for the event. Either way you're guaranteed to see a great organization doing good in the community so show your support and check out "Celebrating For A Cause".

Until next time,

Be Blessed

The Shit a Good Christian Woman Can't Say

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 13:39:00 +0000

Take the title for example, that is ABSOLUTELY NOT something that any good, God-fearing woman should be going around saying. However God knows my heart, so he is aware of the fact that some people get on my last good nerve and the only way I can get over it is to CURSE (or cuss if you're the south) the HELL out of them. (Though you know I only curse in private - right). Seriously, why else irritate such a good upstanding woman as myself to the point that I can't even pray to ask for the right spirit to deal with you.

You are obviously unaware that many a good Christian woman has a razor-edged tongue that we pray constantly for God to bridle so that we might be good reflections of him. Sometimes though that prayer is uttered in repentance because we are human and we do fall (the key is in getting back up). Can you tell I haven't done my devotional this morning? Let me get to that now.

Dear God please forgive anyone that I have offended by my humanity. Amen.

Until next time,
Be Blessed

What Do Your Children Think of You?

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 01:32:00 +0000

Many might say it doesn't matter to them, but they're probably lying. Most parents at least hope their children think well of them, I know I do. I no longer have to wonder though.

Fortunately for me my daughters Social Studies teacher had them do an assignment on world leaders past and present, (uh no, I did not make THAT list), then they had to list someone they know personally that they thought of as a leader. Guess who got picked? And yes, I have a slightly swollen ego because of it...Heck I'm a Home Based Mom, I'm competing with engineers and entrepreneurs and Directors of Fortune 500 companies (yes in our family).

So not only was I awed, but humbled as well, because I feel like my children -at least one of them- knows my worth. I am blessed and highly FAVORED.

#10 blows my mind, especially after having seen the movie "Courageous". You should definitely check it out.

Until next time,
Be Blessed

Your Marriage Is Important to Me

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 14:26:00 +0000

Life is full of challenges and ultimately the decisions we make regarding these situations determine if we'll make it through. Curve balls are thrown and feelings change, friends and lovers grow apart, schedules get more hectic and life happens. Through it all you need to make your marriage a priority, not just the marriage, but the relationship you have with your partner. Taking time to talk with them, have fun together and to nurture one another is essential. But what happens when neither of you feel like working on it, you're both so tired, or so fed up that you can't or won't take the time to look at your relationship to see where work could be put in? That is when you need friends, specifically married friends, who want to see your marriage succeed. Like minded people with similar goals generally tend to support one another and encourage positive outcomes in others lives.

Earlier this year, I was getting ready to attend a marriage gala and I offered a friend and his wife tickets to the event, however when I finally reached him, he told me they were separating that very week. I was sick, because the reason given to me was "I fell out of love with her". Seriously?!! I was hurt for her as much as him. There were some extenuating circumstances, but with friends and counseling the events possibly could have been prevented. I made it known to my friend that I thought he should take some time and try to work on his marriage, but he was pained and not open to the possibility of reconciliation. This is an old friend of mine, I've known him longer than my husband and he is honestly one of my oldest and dearest friends, which is why I was so hurt. Over the years, we haven't made as much time for one another as we used to, so we don't talk like we once did, so I didn't know the ends and out of his marriage, nor he mine. However I felt, had we been more open to one another as couples we could have helped each other avoid the pitfalls we found ourselves in. The same is true of all marriages, and I am fortunate that I have friends that believe the same thing.

Our marriages are not important to just our families, but for our childrens' future families. What chance do they have of keeping a marriage together if half the ones they know of personally end in divorce? And I'm not talking about divorce due to abuse, I'm talking about the "irreconcilable differences" and the "I fell out of love with them" splits. Marriage takes work, and there are days when I have to work super hard to stay with my husband, because though I may love him, he sure can get on my last nerve, and I know the feeling is mutual. My sister wives have had experiences that I may not have, and they are able to share with me from their experience, and I can share from mine. The key element of it all is SHARING. We cannot be ashamed of our circumstances, or timid in creativity for keeping our marriages whole. Please know that your marriage is important to me, even if only for selfish reasons...It might save mine...or my child may marry yours. We have to work together to keep our marriages strong and I pray that you take me seriously and become a friend of your friends marriages.

Back to my friend and his wife. I had told my mother about this friend, because she knows him too, and in my mothers fashion, she summoned him. She declared they were to have lunch because she needed to talk with him about this decision, (my mother divorced my stepdad 3 years ago), and she had her own insights to offer. Well upon my delivering this message for her, my friend informed me that he and his wife were going to attend counseling. I felt like this was a win... a small battle, but a victory none the less, and a "W" is a "W". I'll take it.

If your marriage is in trouble, reach out to a like-minded friend whose marriage and yours are a priority. It may make the difference of your life.

Until next time,
Be Blessed

Fall is Here

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 02:05:00 +0000

That means football and knitting kick into high gear, at least around here. Now mind you, I only watch college football, and only when the University of Michigan is playing. My heart bleeds maize and blue, our home is swathed in it, (oh yeah hubby went there too). My KitchenAid mixer is cobalt blue against a maize wall, the furniture in the family room is also blue against a maize wall, the guest room, (lovingly called the Lloyd Carr Memorial Suite by my father-in-law) is a combination of maize, blue and white. We might be slightly fanatical but that is neither here nor there.

The issue at hand here, is that I cannot find the right shade of maize for my knitting. I'm working on some hat designs, but I need that just right shade of - dare I say "yellow" (for the unindoctrinated), to make it perfectly authentic. Can anybody help me? Something in a DK, medium weight would be preferable, wool is also a preference. The color of the block "M" is what I'm looking for.

Until then...
Be Blessed

A Little Bit Goes A Long Way

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 01:43:00 +0000

Do you remember someone telling you that when you were younger? It was usually in reference to some creamy concoction that would be slathered on some part of your body, but it holds true for lots of things, i.e. makeup, spandex, thanks, gravy and other sauces, attention... you catch my drift.

Over the past week in the circles I travel, the topic has been popping up quite constantly "how do you balance work and family?". Its been on blogs, personal conversations, forums, everywhere. I just recently told some friends "don't try to be Superwoman, that chick ain't real" (yes I speak in the vernacular occasionally), and another good friend wrote about "Defeating Superwoman: A Work in Progress".

So often we feel the need to do it all, or be judged for it; when that is not the case at all. If anything others are wishing you wouldn't try so hard so we won't look like slackers. Maybe if we just take a little bit of the wisdom that our parents doled out about creamy concoctions and applied it to everyday life we'd be a little better. For example: A little bit.. of time with your children each day will build bonds that last a lifetime, of exercise each day will make your heart beat a little longer, of compassion will help you see the world in a new light, of housework (each day) will make it the place you want to come home to, and ... a little bit of love makes the world a better place.

Even just a little bit, can make a huge difference. So maybe you didn't get ALL the laundry done, what you did will still bless your family. And maybe you didn't blog everyday this week, but the little blurb you put out on Wordless Wednesday or the menu you threw together last week, really helped someone out. Your time and effort has value no matter how big or small, so do what you can; because every little bit counts, and a little bit goes a long way.

Until Next Time,
Be Blessed

Happy birthday Little Buddy @pieceofcake. on Twitpic

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 01:11:00 +0000

Happy birthday Little Buddy @pieceofcake. on Twitpic

What's for Dinner?

noreply@blogger.com (life as I know) — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 19:27:00 +0000

My kids are constantly asking me that question, even when they've just had a snack, and since I know they aren't hungry I usually just say "food". That'll teach them. With so many activities going on at different places, I figured I really need to stick to the whole "plan and prepare ahead" routine that was suggested eons ago.

I've planned out a menu a month at a time, but I could get pretty lax with the whole preparing early in the day part of it, so the planning was out the window. But now with everyone doing something different, and most days not at the same place, this momma has got to get her timing and planning together. With that in mind, I made up next weeks menu and picked up any needed ingredients that I didn't already have on hand.

This is also in line with being a little more coupon savvy. I didn't use any today, but I plan on doing so in the future. If you've got some sites you use regularly that are easy please let me know, I love a good deal too :)

Thursday: Chicken broccoli bake (a favorite from my UofM days :)
Friday: Burgers, Fries and Shakes
Saturday: Out
Sunday: Out
Monday: (It's a holiday, somebody's grilling...I hope)
Tuesday: Baked Chicken with potatoes and green beans
Wednesday: Meatloaf (in the crockpot) corn, and broccoli
Thursday: Fajitas, rice, beans
Friday: Mini pizzas, salad
Saturday: Taco salad

Enjoy and feel free to draw inspiration and share your ideas too. I love trying new easy meals.

Be Blessed