Keeping Marriages Together: Communication

I've been away for a while doing some research.  Remember one of my goals this year is to help keep marriages together.  Well I have been away learning how to do just that.  The first lesson I learned I already shared with you.  I bet you didn't even know it did you?

When I fell off the radar for an extended period of time I was practicing being silent.  Communication is a critical component to a healthy marriage and there are two aspects to it;  speaking and listening. In order to listen you have to be silent so you can hear what the other person is saying.  In order to hear what another person is saying so that you may truly give it thought, you have to actively listen, i.e. pay attention to what the other person is saying, not just sit there blankly and nod occasionally while formulating your rebuttal.

I have learned that silence is a very good friend, it helps me focus on what is really being said, so I can hear what the person is actually saying, not what I perceive.  Taking a few deep breaths and clearing your mind before (and during) a conversation can help you stay focused and silent and it can help further the communication efforts of a couple.  Remember silence is not a place for you to go inside yourself and judge your spouse.  It is actually a time to meditate on how to respond in a positive way.

Being silent has been a challenge for me, especially since I was dubbed "loquacious" as a sixth-grader and have lived up to that moniker ever since.  It does take a good deal of effort to be quiet and to process, but through meditation and prayer I have found I am able to listen for longer periods of time without trying to interject.  I am also able to give better responses, because I haven't been so focused on me and what I was going to say, but on what my partner was actually talking about.  I'm not moving my agenda along, but rather actually taking into account the other person.

Silence truly is golden, just think of all the money saved just by being quiet and actually listening to your spouse.  You don't have to wait until things are challenging to use this tool.  Working on positive communication skills in the good times, shore up a marriage and strengthen it in case things do get rocky.  At least you'll be able to communicate open and honestly should tides get choppy.

Until Next Time,
Be Blessed

Win a Week at The Biggest Loser Resorts

Are you overweight? Frustrated by an endless diet cycle? Ready to take control of your health? Just like contestants on NBC’s The Biggest Loser, you CAN have a life changing experience-- at The Biggest Loser Resorts.

The Biggest Loser Resorts cater to REAL people seeking REAL weight loss results. A team of certified trainers, nutritionists, life coaches, and world-class chefs have one goal, to help you lose weight. Are you ready to experience a week of great fitness, delicious spa cuisine, enlightening education and wonderful camaraderie? Bring a friend to any of the three Biggest Loser Resorts (Malibu, Utah or Niagara) for a week between July 29th and September 16th and your friend comes at 50% off the standard weekly rate (or combine it and you both come at 25% off!).

Reservations must be made by July 31, 2012. (There's limited availability, so be sure to book quickly.) Additional terms and conditions apply, so contact their customer service representatives at this special number to 877-423-2760 learn more. Or visit http://www.usfamilycoupons.com/coupon.php?bid=10701&dealid=904 

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Terms and conditions: Available for double occupancy only in Utah and Niagara. Single or Double Occupancy in Malibu. This offer cannot be combined with any other offers. If booking multiple weeks, this offer applies only to the first week. Transportation, taxes, spa treatments, private training, and amenities not included. Scheduling is subject to availability. Reservations must be made by July 31, 2012, and stays must occur in the timeframe referenced above. The Biggest Loser Resort reserves the right to end this offer any time.

Family Vacation Sweepstakes

Summer's here and we're all ready to get away for a bit of family fun and relaxation.  I'm certainly ready to pick up my SPF and lay on the beach.  If  the same is true for you click on the Family Vacation Sweepstakes link below and enter to win one of 12 great family vacations.  

Register to win a summer family vacation. This summer USFamilyGuide.com has created a promotion that celebrates the family vacation by giving away 12 incredible trips for families looking to create their own memories. They have hand picked some of the most memorable destinations their families have experienced and asked them to provide a FREE vacation to award to perhaps YOU!

Rules: 
One entry per day Family Vacation Sweepstakes
Prizes will be awarded beginning June 1 through July 31. 

Best of luck!!!

Summer Fun Globetrotter Style

When I was a girl the highlight of the year was seeing the Harlem Globetrotters when they came to town. It was so much fun watching the players do all the tricks. The score was never important, well it wasn't the main focus. The exhibition was always a great time with family, and it was enjoyed by both parents and kids alike.   

For the first time, the Harlem Globetrotters are conducting summer skills clinics to bring boys and girls ages 6-14 behind the curtain to see the Globetrotters’ electrifying skills and tricks, while also having fun staying active.

Each participant receives:

• A free ticket voucher (valued up to $40) to see the Globetrotters during their 2013 World Tour
• Autographs and photos with the stars!
• 3-day trial pass to 24 Hour Fitness

Clinic Locations:(These are just the clinics - the games for your tickets are in 200 cities)

Phoenix       Houston     San Francisco       New Jersey

Denver        Dallas        Los Angeles         Seattle

St Louis       Miami        Las Vegas

Save $10 on registration! Enter the Coupon Code USFAMILY on the cart page after completing your registration or mention when calling 1-800-641-HOOP (4667) Click Here: http://www.harlemglobetrotters.com/basketball-skills-clinics/summer-2012

Putting My Best Face Forward

These past few months, have been challenging, but I am coming out of them well and actually very refreshed.  My story is still being written, and many changes are being made.   One of the biggest being me taking more care with my appearance.  Don't get me wrong I wasn't TOO OFTEN running around looking like "Whodunnit" and "What For", but I wasn't putting on a face either.  In essence I wasn't putting my best face forward, and that is not good for business or personal matters.

Much has changed in this period of time though.  Each day my hair is done, done (really put together) - even my ponytails and sloppy buns look good, because I've always got my "5-minute face" on.  It may sound silly, but its actually a very good tool for life.  Over the past few months I've added a few people to my entourage; Selena my hair stylist, Myself as wardrober (I wasn't bad, I just needed a clear vision), and a Skin Care Consultant Bernice Wood.

Bernice is my Mary Kay Consultant and my friend.  And just so you know I just met her last week but she is a kindred spirit.  First of all she has the patience of Job, I gave her so many "I can't do this", and "I can't do that", but did she say "I can't work with you", no sir.  She brought over her kit and to my very pleasant my surprise we  found something that works with my newly sensitive skin.  It's Mary Kay's new Botanical Effects line, which I love.  This line is great for sensitive skin, and it has options just like the other Mary Kay lines, for dry, oily or combination skin.  It leaves my skin feeling fresh and light and not dried out, and I'm talking before I even moisturize.


Being a newly minted Skincare Consultant Bernice's friend Jil came along to help train her.  Jil is hilarious.  These two ladies brought a party and then SOME to my home on a Wednesday afternoon.  Not only did they show me a product that gently cleanses and moisturizes my skin, but they also gave me pointers on taking that "5-minute face" and kicking it up a notch with just 5 more minutes.  Seriously, ready to go out face in 10 minutes; who would have ever thought it possible? Not me surely. My immediate thought after my facial were "My skin is luminous, glowing, gorgeous!" I get to have that feeling everyday, and I get to hold the fun memories of that day in my mind.

In addition I got to see a wonderful opportunity at work.  Being an entrepreneur myself I can respect the persistence and consistence it takes to be in independent business owner, and that is exactly what Mary Kay is.  It's an excellent vehicle (pun intended) for people to earn a little extra income, or build a business to support a family. As a personal beauty consultant, Bernice is available to work with you in the comfort of your home.  Just as with me, this gives you the opportunity to find out all your options and to try before you buy. To set up your own consultation, email her at bernicemwood @ gmail.com or visit her website at marykay.com/bernicewood.



Disclosure: Bernice offered me the Botanicals line gratis so that I might be able to accurately review the product.  There was no money exchange and as always, my opinions are 100% my own.

He's Writing My Testimony

Thank you all for reading "life as I know"  I really appreciate you stopping by and commenting.  "Lifers" know I can be very sporadic with my posting and occasionally there are long gaps between posts.  There is of course a good reason for it, but one I am not ready to share.

I have been confronted with some truths as of late, I knew they were coming, but none the less they have me in a place where I must make a decision.  In order to make the best decision possible I need to suspend a few preoccupations.

When I return my hope is that my story will be so great that it sheds light where you need it and helps heal.
I must go to work now, I must be still and I must listen so I will know the way to go.


Until Next Time,
Be Blessed

Role Models

I LOVE my work.  I feel truly fortunate that I get to do what I enjoy and people pay me for it.  Honestly what's not to like?  I get paid to share knowledge, spread joy and encourage peace, calm and community.  Teaching needle arts is therapeutic, relaxing, and social (that's what both the student and I get from it).

Just a short while ago I was told that I couldn't "just sit around knitting all day".  Well not to jinx it, but apparently I can.  Some people's words should be taken with a grain of salt, and we all know we need less sodium in our diets, so why not just ditch the negative altogether.  Role models are those we look up to as inspiration for our own future successes.

When I was in college and having a rough time, I would say "If I don't graduate, I'm going to be the black Martha Stewart".  Well I did graduate, but that's not the reason I didn't become the next Martha.  As we all know I had a great window while she was in the clink, but it occurred to me that wasn't really what I wanted to do.  And heck, I'm not nearly as organized as Martha.  I realized what I liked about Martha was that she was her own boss.  She was an entrepreneur.

Don't get me wrong, I'm surrounded by business-minded people, I mean as far back as I can remember my father has had his own business.  And historically African American business owners were the pillars of their communities having boutiques and restaurants, floral shops and funeral homes and everything in between.  Somewhere along the way though a generation was lost and the people they look up to are not their parents or even their ancestors, but people from their own generation who have skills they probably won't ever possess.

Instead of doing what you think will get you "crazy paid"  how about finding out what you really like and figuring out a way to make it pay you.  Madam C.J. Walker's thinning hair paid her several times over, making her the first African American millionaire.  Mary McLeod Bethune wouldn't let the fact that there was no school for girls deter her...she started her own, now look at the legacy she left.  Use your creativity, your imagination, your divinely given gifts to get what you want.  Find proper role models to emulate.

I still love Martha, but my new role model is Madam C.J. Walker, and that's because my girls need to see successful people that look like them, so they know its possible (and seriously the woman made a fortune off of a basic thing).  Their role models need not be models, and rappers or even actors.  They need to be the ancestors that were first and the pioneers of today that keep blazing trails of innovation and creativity in business, politics, art and the humanities.  Their role models are myself and their father, my father, their grandmothers, our aunts and uncles.  We have to be role models so they will have a model of success to follow.  Wo/Man up!

Until Next Time,
Be Blessed