Tuesday, December 02, 2014

Update Required Shanta v.36.5 Available Now

"It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you...without a dope beat to step to..."  LOL!!

Ahh... Yes I am laughing.  Life is good.  It's really GOOD!

I am in graduate school (and doing well).  My children are healthy and most days happy.  I have a great family and wonderful friends.  All that's missing...nothing.  I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this stage of my life and I'm finally okay with that.

A couple of years ago I dashed out of the blogosphere only to peek my head in every so often with a cryptic post; promising I would return some day.  Well here I am finally.  I just needed the proper time to cook thoroughly.  You all know I like to bake.  Baking is very scientific, minus the cooking time. That is variable depending on the calibration of your oven, elevation, several factors.  Things like cakes and soufflés and cookies, are ruined if undercooked or overcooked.

I thought I was ready to come back before, but I was like a cake that was taken out too early, nice crust, but gooey on the inside, not strong enough to support what was on the outside.  You might be able to nibble around the perimeter but once you reach the middle you have to throw it out.  I'm a patient person, so I checked my cake, saw it wasn't ready, and went back in the oven.

My oven has been... getting into school and appreciating my time with my girls, and my girlfriends and my family.  These are the people that made sure I didn't stay in the oven too long, and get hard, and burnt and bitter, dried out and inedible, oftentimes unappealing to the eye.  They pushed me out of the oven at just the right time.  My oven was good too me.  It didn't overcook me, it didn't hold my hand and baby me, it rang the alarm just when I needed to cool down.

Today marks the one year anniversary of my Super Secret Divorce (SSD).  If you didn't know, now you know...and I apologize if this is how you found out.  That being said, this has been all things considered a GREAT year! :) Yeah, I'm smiling now, but there were times, when I really felt lost.  Like "what the heck am I going to do?".  Then I realized all along I've been on a journey that I wasn't awake for.  I was sleep walking through life.

I told someone at church "my divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me", she was shocked and really wanted me to take it back, but I couldn't, because it was true.  The "situation" (that's what I called it) helped me to remember who I was.  I'm no Olivia Pope, but I'm a fixer.  I fixed things in my former life, before I met my ex, and I was good at it.  I was a problem solver, goal-oriented and focused.  Now some of these things didn't change, they just shifted.  I became the solver of my children's problems, and focused on their futures and their goals. (And if you read between the lines, you see a fracture - we'll revisit it later).

This year, has been about learning me all over again.  Becoming friends with myself, learning that being in my bed alone is not a death sentence; (I have fuzzy socks to keep my feet warm).  I learned to laugh truthfully again, and to enjoy life.  This year was fun!  (I'll tell you about Australia later  :)

Today marks a year of holidays, not spent with him, and I'm okay with that.  As I type this there is a smile on my face because I know there is so much more out there for me.  So many more genuine laugh out loud moments, and smiles and "beautifuls".  So many more concerts, and excursions, and awe-inspiring moments...that would have been taken for granted.

For those who wonder "What of the marriage component?"  I still believe in marriage, maybe I'll marry again someday (hopefully).  Now I just look at it as having a perspective from both sides. :)  You have to laugh.  Marriage is still very important to me and you will never read a negative word on this blog about my co-parent.  Our time together was what it was meant to be and I have three very beautiful mementos.  We are still cordial and that works...for now.

I no longer feel undercooked.  My core is strong, I can hold up a thick crust without caving in on myself.  I am ready to come out.  Shield your eyes...I'm beautiful!

As Always,
Be Blessed

Monday, October 28, 2013


Yes, I have returned momentarily at least.  There has been so much going on, and I'm still not ready to let my "Lifers" in.  However I will tell you that I am getting ready to apply to graduate school and chances are pretty good I may get into my number one choice...at least in my head chances are good.  

I just wanted to come and bring you a little something to let you know I hadn't forgotten about you.  I'll be trying to post more of my poetry on the site so you won't be left completely in the dark.  No full blog posts until the application process is done, but I'm hoping to be done with it by February.  Thanks for reading I'll be back regularly soon.  In the meantime I hope you enjoy the poems.  

I had no choice it was life-and-death, sink or swim, live or die. I could not let this define me negatively; it had to be purposeful, impactful, present.
I had to make the choice to live, and I did and I'm surviving, thriving, proving that I can do it.

Be Blessed

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Keeping Marriages Together: Communication

I've been away for a while doing some research.  Remember one of my goals this year is to help keep marriages together.  Well I have been away learning how to do just that.  The first lesson I learned I already shared with you.  I bet you didn't even know it did you?

When I fell off the radar for an extended period of time I was practicing being silent.  Communication is a critical component to a healthy marriage and there are two aspects to it;  speaking and listening. In order to listen you have to be silent so you can hear what the other person is saying.  In order to hear what another person is saying so that you may truly give it thought, you have to actively listen, i.e. pay attention to what the other person is saying, not just sit there blankly and nod occasionally while formulating your rebuttal.

I have learned that silence is a very good friend, it helps me focus on what is really being said, so I can hear what the person is actually saying, not what I perceive.  Taking a few deep breaths and clearing your mind before (and during) a conversation can help you stay focused and silent and it can help further the communication efforts of a couple.  Remember silence is not a place for you to go inside yourself and judge your spouse.  It is actually a time to meditate on how to respond in a positive way.

Being silent has been a challenge for me, especially since I was dubbed "loquacious" as a sixth-grader and have lived up to that moniker ever since.  It does take a good deal of effort to be quiet and to process, but through meditation and prayer I have found I am able to listen for longer periods of time without trying to interject.  I am also able to give better responses, because I haven't been so focused on me and what I was going to say, but on what my partner was actually talking about.  I'm not moving my agenda along, but rather actually taking into account the other person.

Silence truly is golden, just think of all the money saved just by being quiet and actually listening to your spouse.  You don't have to wait until things are challenging to use this tool.  Working on positive communication skills in the good times, shore up a marriage and strengthen it in case things do get rocky.  At least you'll be able to communicate open and honestly should tides get choppy.

Until Next Time,
Be Blessed

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Win a Week at The Biggest Loser Resorts

Are you overweight? Frustrated by an endless diet cycle? Ready to take control of your health? Just like contestants on NBC’s The Biggest Loser, you CAN have a life changing experience-- at The Biggest Loser Resorts.

The Biggest Loser Resorts cater to REAL people seeking REAL weight loss results. A team of certified trainers, nutritionists, life coaches, and world-class chefs have one goal, to help you lose weight. Are you ready to experience a week of great fitness, delicious spa cuisine, enlightening education and wonderful camaraderie? Bring a friend to any of the three Biggest Loser Resorts (Malibu, Utah or Niagara) for a week between July 29th and September 16th and your friend comes at 50% off the standard weekly rate (or combine it and you both come at 25% off!).

Reservations must be made by July 31, 2012. (There's limited availability, so be sure to book quickly.) Additional terms and conditions apply, so contact their customer service representatives at this special number to 877-423-2760 learn more. Or visit http://www.usfamilycoupons.com/coupon.php?bid=10701&dealid=904 

 Visit Our Website For More Information: http://www.biggestloserresort.com/?NCK=8774232760

Terms and conditions: Available for double occupancy only in Utah and Niagara. Single or Double Occupancy in Malibu. This offer cannot be combined with any other offers. If booking multiple weeks, this offer applies only to the first week. Transportation, taxes, spa treatments, private training, and amenities not included. Scheduling is subject to availability. Reservations must be made by July 31, 2012, and stays must occur in the timeframe referenced above. The Biggest Loser Resort reserves the right to end this offer any time.

Monday, June 04, 2012

Family Vacation Sweepstakes

Summer's here and we're all ready to get away for a bit of family fun and relaxation.  I'm certainly ready to pick up my SPF and lay on the beach.  If  the same is true for you click on the Family Vacation Sweepstakes link below and enter to win one of 12 great family vacations.  

Register to win a summer family vacation. This summer USFamilyGuide.com has created a promotion that celebrates the family vacation by giving away 12 incredible trips for families looking to create their own memories. They have hand picked some of the most memorable destinations their families have experienced and asked them to provide a FREE vacation to award to perhaps YOU!

One entry per day Family Vacation Sweepstakes
Prizes will be awarded beginning June 1 
through July 31. 

Best of luck!!!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Summer Fun Globetrotter Style

When I was a girl the highlight of the year was seeing the Harlem Globetrotters when they came to town. It was so much fun watching the players do all the tricks. The score was never important, well it wasn't the main focus. The exhibition was always a great time with family, and it was enjoyed by both parents and kids alike.   

For the first time, the Harlem Globetrotters are conducting summer skills clinics to bring boys and girls ages 6-14 behind the curtain to see the Globetrotters’ electrifying skills and tricks, while also having fun staying active.
Each participant receives:
  • A free ticket voucher (valued up to $40) to see the Globetrotters during their 2013 World Tour
  • Autographs and photos with the stars!
  • 3-day trial pass to 24 Hour Fitness
Clinic Locations:(These are just the clinics - the games for your tickets are in 200 cities)
Phoenix       Houston     San Francisco       New Jersey
Denver        Dallas        Los Angeles         Seattle
St Louis       Miami        Las Vegas

Save $10 on registration! Enter the Coupon Code USFAMILY on the cart page after completing your registration or mention when calling 1-800-641-HOOP (4667) Click Here: http://www.harlemglobetrotters.com/basketball-skills-clinics/summer-2012

Monday, April 30, 2012

Putting My Best Face Forward

These past few months, have been challenging, but I am coming out of them well and actually very refreshed.  My story is still being written, and many changes are being made.   One of the biggest being me taking more care with my appearance.  Don't get me wrong I wasn't TOO OFTEN running around looking like "Whodunnit" and "What For", but I wasn't putting on a face either.  In essence I wasn't putting my best face forward, and that is not good for business or personal matters.

Much has changed in this period of time though.  Each day my hair is done, done (really put together) - even my ponytails and sloppy buns look good, because I've always got my "5-minute face" on.  It may sound silly, but its actually a very good tool for life.  Over the past few months I've added a few people to my entourage; Selena my hair stylist, Myself as wardrober (I wasn't bad, I just needed a clear vision), and a Skin Care Consultant Bernice Wood.

Bernice is my Mary Kay Consultant and my friend.  And just so you know I just met her last week but she is a kindred spirit.  First of all she has the patience of Job, I gave her so many "I can't do this", and "I can't do that", but did she say "I can't work with you", no sir.  She brought over her kit and to my very pleasant my surprise we  found something that works with my newly sensitive skin.  It's Mary Kay's new Botanical Effects line, which I love.  This line is great for sensitive skin, and it has options just like the other Mary Kay lines, for dry, oily or combination skin.  It leaves my skin feeling fresh and light and not dried out, and I'm talking before I even moisturize.

Being a newly minted Skincare Consultant Bernice's friend Jil came along to help train her.  Jil is hilarious.  These two ladies brought a party and then SOME to my home on a Wednesday afternoon.  Not only did they show me a product that gently cleanses and moisturizes my skin, but they also gave me pointers on taking that "5-minute face" and kicking it up a notch with just 5 more minutes.  Seriously, ready to go out face in 10 minutes; who would have ever thought it possible? Not me surely. My immediate thought after my facial were "My skin is luminous, glowing, gorgeous!" I get to have that feeling everyday, and I get to hold the fun memories of that day in my mind.

In addition I got to see a wonderful opportunity at work.  Being an entrepreneur myself I can respect the persistence and consistence it takes to be in independent business owner, and that is exactly what Mary Kay is.  It's an excellent vehicle (pun intended) for people to earn a little extra income, or build a business to support a family. As a personal beauty consultant, Bernice is available to work with you in the comfort of your home.  Just as with me, this gives you the opportunity to find out all your options and to try before you buy. To set up your own consultation, email her at bernicemwood @ gmail.com or visit her website at marykay.com/bernicewood.

Disclosure: Bernice offered me the Botanicals line gratis so that I might be able to accurately review the product.  There was no money exchange and as always, my opinions are 100% my own.